Miroku watched his associate – he wouldn’t go so far as to say “friend” yet – hobble toward the cave behind Kaede, shoulders set.
Shippou was nigh inconsolable at the hanyou’s actions in banishing the girl to the other side of the well with no way to return. InuYasha sat through the kitsune’s sobs unflinchingly.
It was only when the kit screamed, “It’s like you don’t even care that we’ll never see her again!” and ran off that Miroku saw the flicker of pain in the hanyou’s eyes.
This was hurting him as much as it was hurting Shippou. And Shippou’s outburst made it worse; InuYasha had turned to Miroku, expecting much the same treatment.
Miroku couldn’t do it…
He couldn’t destroy that very last bit of hope.
I learned each virtue I was told
I worked hard to avoid the mold
But as I saw my life unfold
There was no place for me.
Kagome came back; she came back. InuYasha appeared to be so very confused by her actions – it was as though he could not comprehend why she would.
Miroku hid his knowing, and wistful, smile.
Kagome cared for the hanyou – far more than was probably healthy, given the existence of Kikyou once again on the land. But he couldn’t bring himself to say anything…
When Kagome had come back, it was like InuYasha had finally been given a ray of hope.
It was hard when I begun,
Each day harder it has become.
My only future was undone,
And nothing has replaced it.
Miroku marveled. Kagome had left… and InuYasha was just going to let her go?!
On one hand… it was almost gallant. It was clear to anybody (well, not Sango. Or Shippou.) that the idea of Kagome leaving for good tore InuYasha up. Miroku privately wondered if Kagome was the first friends the man had ever had – or at least in a long while. InuYasha didn’t want to cause Kagome distress, that much was obvious, and it was noble of InuYasha to do so.
On the other hand… it was stupid. InuYasha was blind to the fact that this spider hunt for Naraku was not just for his own revenge. Miroku’s life was on the life. Shippou’s parents and Sango’s family should be honored. Sango needed to save Kohaku.
They needed Kagome to do all that and more.
But as he strode up purposefully to tell InuYasha this, the words stuck in his throat…
It was like InuYasha had finally given up all hope.
There is nothing left to gain,
All that's left is to maintain.
Just to stand is too much strain,
But there is nothing else
Indigo eyes took in a somber scene. Kagome sat on the well, braced against it as she asked InuYasha if she could stay with him.
‘What kind of stupid question is that?’
Miroku had to bite his tongue when Kagome acknowledge that she couldn’t compete with Kikyou, because she was still alive. As though being alive was a bad thing! But he couldn’t interfere – this needed to stay between those two.
They’d never know how his stomach knotted; how it seemed like hours before InuYasha took her hand.
InuYasha wasn’t the only one to hope that this was a friendship that would last.
I've been beat, I've been broken
I asked for a place, the world has spoken
I was asleep, but now that I've woken,
I preferred my dream.
Miroku marveled at InuYasha’s single-mindedness. If the hanyou had heard the monk following him, he didn’t make any indication of it. InuYasha’s ears, eyes and nose were all focused on the well.
The dormant well.
Shippou had finally broken down one night, telling Miroku how InuYasha would go to the well every three days in hope of finding it would be open again. The monk was shocked. That kind of behavior bordered on the obsessive… and this long, after three years? It was unhealthy. Miroku resolved then that, as a friend, it was time to step in.
InuYasha couldn’t keep living in the past, even if that’s where he was when it came to Kagome.
But as he stared at his friend, watched him jump into the well, leap back out and then kick as it before looking so very forlorn…
He couldn’t bring himself to.
It was unhealthy… but it gave the poor guy some hope.
It will take great strength to pull me through,
This challenge unseen, which I must do.
To make a "me" I never knew,
But I'm already spent.